Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women: The Latest

Sadly, once again, almost all of these take place at one of the places where I work.

"Don't count on ever losing the baby weight. You should just manage your expectations now. That belly is probably here to stay."

(Seriously. I will cut you.)

"Man. It's like one day I walked in, and all of a sudden you just looked huge."

"Do you have stretch marks yet?"

"Hey, preggo. You want to have a quick meeting?"

(I just want people to call me by my name, because getting pregnant did not require a name change. I am not anyone else's mom, or momma, or preggo.)

Her: "Oh, you're using a midwife? You know, I just read an article about a baby who died during a water birth."
Me: "I'm not having a water birth. I'm having a hospital birth, but my midwife will deliver the baby unless I have a complication."
Her: "Oh. You'll want those pain meds."
Me: "Yeah, I can have pain meds if I want, too."
Her: "I thought you said you were using a midwife?"
Me: "I am. It's still a hospital birth. Nevermind..."

Her: "Here's a list of things they vaccinate your baby for once he's born. It's outrageous. Remember that you can refuse any of these."
Me: "Well, I talked to my doctor about it, and it seems okay to me..."
Her: "Oh, I'm sure your doctor pushed for them."
Me: "Well, she's actually a midwife. I really trust her."
Her: "Well, I guess it's up to you."
(OMG. YES. IT IS UP TO ME. ME AND MY HUSBAND.)