Just You Wait/You Just Wait/Just Wait

Here’s a thing that annoys me about being around people who have kids: Every tantrum is an opportunity for veteran parents to tell childless people that their time will come, too. 

I mean, it’s true. My kid will throw tantrums and he’ll make messes, and it’ll probably really annoy me. But I really hope I’m not the kind of person who turns to a pregnant girl and says, “Just wait! This will be your life soon.” I’d prefer to be the kind of person who can tell expectant mothers and people who might want to have children one day that tantrums aren’t that common and that having a kid is a lot of fun.

“You just wait” also comes up in conversations about marriage, cloth diapering, working while mothering, and maintaining friendships. Mention that your girlfriends can’t wait for your baby to be born and a young mother is practically guaranteed to respond, “You just wait. It’ll be harder than you think.”

I think that’s probably true. It’ll be harder than I think to use cloth diapers. It’ll be harder than I think to keep up with my friends. It’ll be harder than I think to keep communicating well with my husband. Except sometimes I want to turn to these people and say, “You don’t know where I come from. My parents got more done before 10 a.m., on Saturday than you managed to accomplish in an entire weekend. Hell, maybe a whole week. I started my own business and it was harder than I thought. I bought my own house and it was harder than I thought. I paid my student loans off in 7 years and it was harder than I thought. But honestly—it wasn’t that bad.”

But I’m more of a nod and smile type. I agree with people while thinking to myself that they obnoxious. I leave and remind myself for the 1000th time that we get to make our own schedule and traditions and have our own outlook on parenting. We get to be flexible when things go off course. We get to respond to the frustrations of parenting however we choose. 

I’ve been told by a few trusted friends that your baby doesn’t get to make all the rules. That having an infant is way easier than they had expected. That strapping a kid onto your body and heading out to a bonfire is possible. I’m going with their version. I’m going the blue collar route. I’m going to trust myself and my ability to keep Making Things Happen, which always surprises and delights me. Just you wait.