My Advice for Pregnant Ladies

I've had a few girlfriends tell me that I am their role model for how to be pregnant. This is hilarious to me, because I actually had to google "How many weeks pregnant am I?" the other day. Also, I've eaten more sushi since I got pregnant than I ate in the six previous months combined. I also eat lunch meat and I exercise and I've gotten really into bagels.

A lot of people would say that all of these things are taboo for women in my particular state. Except for bagels. But, really, bagels should be off-limits to everyone because they have no nutritional value.

Anyway. Here's my advice to pregnant women, and pretty much just all people in general:

1. You're not really eating for two. Track your calories, because you only actually need 300 extra calories to keep your baby healthy. Put away the nightly ice cream because it's not helpful to gain more than 35 pounds during a pregnancy.

2. Own your body. Everyone's body does amazing things every day. If you can walk, talk, and experience emotion, you should be in awe of yourself. Don't hate your body. When your pregnant, your ribs expand and your hips expand and you gain lots of weight. This is healthy. Own it. Do it well. Treat yourself with kindness.

3. Don't read all the rules. America is a strange place to be pregnant. We treat pregnancy like a sickness rather than a natural event. Yes, your immune system is a little compromised, so you should probably eat some oranges and get a flu shot. But if you start googling every food item before you eat it, you're going to go crazy.

4. Don't feel pressured by other people's decisions. I know people who abstained from coffee, tea, soda, and fried foods while pregnant. I know people who ate whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it. I'm somewhere between that. But it never fails that I hear input that goes against my own personal beliefs about pregnancy. I try to ignore it, because as it turns out, I know more about my body than strangers do.

5. Keep that blood pressure down. This is self-explanatory. Take walks, eat your greens, don't eat so much salt. High blood pressure leads to lots of things, like premature birth, heart problems, kidney disease, diabetes. Nobody wants that.

I'm pretty sure following these rules sometimes makes me look like I'm really flippant about pregnancy, or like I take too many risks, but the bottom line is: Lunch meat isn't going to kill me. Exercise is only going to help me. And so far, my baby's heartbeat is strong and steady.